Sarah Palin Haiku [Contest]

Posted October 8, 2008 by donttreeriddle
Categories: Uncategorized

Contest time! This political season if reaching a fever pitch, probably so much so that you’re sick of it and want to be heard. One of the most divisive figures is Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin. Whatever way you lean on this, you’ve got an opinion of her. That’s why we’re offering you an opportunity to speak out… in the ancient and beautiful poetic structure of haiku.

Here are some examples, written by myself.

From frozen tundra,
A challenger approaches:
Vacant eyed bimbo.


Maverick loves Reagan.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, yay!
Maverick loves Reagan.

So, write up your responses and submit them to us, either at, or post them on the wall of our Facebook group.

As always, responses will be read aloud on the air, and the winner will receive some kind of reward. Get cracking! Deadline is midnight on Monday.


Discussion Topics, October 7 [Discussion Topics]

Posted October 8, 2008 by donttreeriddle
Categories: Uncategorized

Accountability is a powerful concept, and so is curiosity. That is why I’m making a habit of creating a post like this for every show, wherein I will provide links to the news stories I talk about on every show. That way, when you’re done listening and think “Gee, I wonder if that scurrilous ne’erdowell Kole was duping me,” you don’t have to do all that inconvenient footwork: It’s done for you. So, enjoy the linky goodness below.

Grenade found in D.C. park [Via CNN]
TV’s ‘Mr. Clean’ dies at 92 [Via CNN]

O.J. Simpson guilty of armed robbery, kidnapping [Via CNN]
Engineer sent text 22 seconds before fatal train crash [Via CNN]
Nobel judge: U.S. too ignorant to compete [Via CNN]

Apple Has Already Reached 10 Million iPhone Sales in 2008? [Via MacRumors]
Google’s Mail Goggles Prevents Drunk Emailing [Via Wired]

Nintendo DSi: Everything You Need To Know [Via 1up]
Game Biz Types Leaning Toward Obama? [Via GamePolitics]
Teen Cites America’s Army Game in Enlistment Decision [Via GamePolitics]
Sega Getting Back into the Hardware Game [Via Wired]
GameStop: GameStop Employees Nabbed In Stolen Game Sting [Via Kotaku]

Rock Band 2 Adds ‘Bandmate’ Custom Figures, Merchandising [Via Gamasutra]
Rock Band Gives Birth to Offspring DLC [Via 1up]
Mario Golf, Shining Force II swing their armaments on Virtual Console [Via Joystiq]

Podcast Available! Season 4, Episode 1: I’ve Been Here Before [Podcast]

Posted October 8, 2008 by donttreeriddle
Categories: Uncategorized

Sorry about the delay on this, some technical hiccups prevented me from posting last week’s podcast on Friday, when I’d completed it.

However, your wait is over. Click this link to go over to the main page, where you can find the full episode.

Listening to it online is nice, but why tether yourself to your computer when you can listen to the show on your iPod? That’s right, you can subscribe to the podcast via iTunes and jam out in the car, on the treadmill, and during surgery. Just click here and iTunes will do the rest.

Expect podcasts of the shows to be available by the broadcast of the next show.

I make this easy for you, don’t I? Feel free to comment on the podcasts by clicking the comment button below these words.

Contest Results: Homer Simpson From Memory [Results]

Posted October 7, 2008 by donttreeriddle
Categories: Uncategorized

Hello again, folks.

Last week’s contest was a rousing success, and we got some great entries. If you don’t remember, or somehow can’t read the post right before this one, I tasked you with drawing Homer Simpson from memory. The criteria for victory were simply: impress me. Accuracy didn’t count, as my entry to the left will illustrate. Instead, I wanted the most “entertaining” entry to win. Without further ado, here were the results.

Here is Jordan’s attempt. My stalwart co-host did well at remembering the general shape and features of the perennial American dad, but succeeded in making him appear to be cross-eyed and inbred. Good work!

Sometimes-co-host of the show, Nate, opted to show all of Homer’s body in his drawing. Wait, I think that’s Homer. It may just be a fat guy.

Here’s an entry from Eric, of Cincinnati, showing Homer Simpson rendered as though his face were attached to a human thumb.

This is an entry from someone who would rather remain unnamed. Stylistically, it reminds me of a drawing that would be found in a Kurt Vonnegut novel, especially around the face region.

And the winner is…..

Joslyn, with the Homer Simpson Fish. Marvel in the glory of this ancient god of the sea, and envision him slinking beneath the oily black darkness of the deepest depths of our ocean, making its home on the couches among the ruins of long forgotten sunken cities.

Stay tuned for next week’s contest, and be on your toes.

Contest: Draw Homer Simpson From Memory [Weekly Contest]

Posted September 30, 2008 by donttreeriddle
Categories: Uncategorized


Contest time! This is a new feature on the show, where we reach out to our fans and ask them: “Hey, make some content for us!” We will have one every week, running from airtime on Tuesday night until the Monday following the next show.

This week’s contest: Draw Homer Simpson from memory. It’s as simple as that!

Okay, I know it’s hard to draw him from memory, what with the temptation of Google Image Search. So, the criteria for “winning” this contest isn’t accuracy, it’s impressing me with your interpretation of Homer Simpson. I’ll be able to tell if you traced him, so don’t even try.

To compete, simply take a picture of your response and email it to You can also post it as a photo on the Facebook Group.

The prize will be a mention on the show, top billing on the blog entry about the contest, and possibly some Bearcast swag.

So get cracking, you’ve got one week.

Web 2.Oh My [Staying Updated]

Posted September 27, 2008 by donttreeriddle
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , ,

Oh, hello again! Thanks for coming back.

The internet hasn’t collapsed yet, so I think this blog has a shot at sticking around. The next question would be, “how can I stay up to date on all of this information”? Well, we here at the Don’t Tree have decided to make things easier for youby providing a whole host of ways to get all of those bits and bytes into your information holes.

First, a lecture:

Are you using Google Reader? If your answer is “No,” my response would be “Why not!?” Seriously, this will change the way you use the internet. After a minimal amount of setup, you will have a single site that pulls updates from all of the sites you visit every day. Forget about making your rounds to every individual site you prefer to read, this will bring every update to your fingertips and… eye-tips. If you need further assistance, here’s a good tutorial.

Now that you’re rolling with Google Reader, what should you populate it with? Well, I can’t recommend my sites enough.

The best one-stop feed for all things Don’t Tree Riddle is my FriendFeed. FriendFeed is a great service that aggregates all of your Web 2.0 sites into one big firehose that anyone can drink out of. Currently, my FriendFeed draws updates from this blog, my Twitter account, and my Google Reader shared items. More services will be added later, such as Flickr and YouTube. To subscribe, just copy/paste this url into your feed reader of choice:

To get up-to-date info on the radio show itself, your best bet is to join the Facebook Group. Being a member of the group ensures that you will get invites to all of the shows with detailed synopses of what each episode will be about. You will also be able to discuss the show there, and have a great opportunity to contact me or any of the hosts directly with your thoughts or comments. Sorry MySpace users, but you will be left out in the cold until that particular service stops sucking (read: stop using MySpace, already. You’re part of the problem).

Lastly, if you’re a fan of more personal communication, you can always contact us directly. Our email address is, and our AIM name is DontTreeRiddle. Easy enough, right? The cool part about these services is that you can provide real-time feedback and contribution to the show, and even have your comments read aloud on the air. Isn’t that neat?

So, there you go, you have every tool you need to keep up to date on the show. Until next time, comment away.

Welcome to the Don’t Tree Riddle Blog [Fond Greetings]

Posted September 27, 2008 by donttreeriddle
Categories: Uncategorized


Oh, I didn’t see you come in. Have a seat.

As you can see, another blog has been thrust into the ether, placing further strain on the already shaky edifice of the internet. Can the system handle another blog? If the infrastructure collapses tomorrow, we’ll know the answer (and you’ll know who to blame).

To quote Admiral James Stockdale, former candidate for vice president of the United States: “Who am I? What am I doing here?” Here’s some curriculum vitae. My name is Kole Ross, and this blog is a companion to my radio show, “Stand Under the Don’t Tree and Riddle Me This.” Yes, the name is very large, and largely non-descriptive. This is done on purpose, as neither the show nor this blog can be very easily defined in a succinct title.

On the show, we talk about current events, technology, video games, and music. Quite a broad spectrum of discussion, but this provides a certain flexibility for fertile discussion. There are several contributors to the show, each providing a unique voice to the experience. We think it’s a good time.

There are a few elements essential to a good blog. The article I just linked is from a great site,, about how to properly manage your attention in order to create something unique. I’ll be linking to sites like this from time to time, because an underlying philosophy of this project is “What is the best use of my mind and attention?” The purpose of writing about video games, or any entertainment, should be to enlighten the reader as to what they should be aware of. I’m going to try to talk about the best games, and bring forward the best news, so you can get the most out of your experience here and get back to doing what you like to do.

Hopefully this has been an adequate introduction. I’ve got to admit that I’m awful at getting things started, so this has been quite difficult for me to get rolling.

So, if you’re out there, leave comments, listen to the show, call in, all of that good stuff. I’m here to serve you, and hopefully I can rise above the noise somewhat and become a trusted source of information.